Closed Mouths Don’t Get Fed: The Power of Simply Asking

Closed Mouths

Not long ago, I was reminded of a lesson that many of us know but often forget.

Several years ago, I had enrolled in a professional development program. Like so many things in life, it was something I intended to complete, but circumstances changed. Shortly after enrolling, I faced unexpected health challenges that required my full focus. The program was set aside while I navigated far more pressing concerns. Eventually, time passed, life moved on, and that unfinished program sat quietly in the back of my mind—a small, nagging loose end that I hadn't fully closed.

Recently, I decided it was time to do something about it. That little voice inside me kept saying: You should finish what you started. But with that voice came all the assumptions:

• “It’s been too long.”

• “I’ve probably lost the credits.”

• “I’ll likely have to start over.”

• “There’s probably nothing they can do.”

Still, I made the decision to reach out. I wrote to the program coordinator, explained my situation openly, and asked if there was any way I could still complete the program. I was fully prepared to hear a "no." In fact, I expected that outcome. And I was equally prepared to accept any additional cost or requirement they might impose. I just wanted the opportunity to complete what I had started.

And then the reply came. "No problem. We completely understand. We’ll get you set up so you can finish the program."

That simple act of grace reinforced something I remind my clients, my colleagues, and quite honestly, myself: closed mouths don’t get fed.

It’s easy to talk ourselves out of things. We hesitate. We assume. We forecast rejection before the question is even asked. We let our fears of hearing "no" prevent us from ever creating the chance to hear "yes."

The truth is, most opportunities are never missed because the answer was no. They’re missed because the question was never asked.

In my coaching work, I often see leaders, professionals, and business owners who struggle with this very thing. They hesitate to ask for support, resources, flexibility, or even clarity—because they’re afraid of how it might be received. And yet, when they do finally ask, they’re often surprised at how much grace, understanding, or flexibility they encounter.

Of course, not every ask will result in a yes. That’s not the point. The point is that nothing changes unless we’re willing to ask. The door we’re looking for doesn’t open itself. We have to knock.

Sometimes, life extends a hand we didn’t expect. But first, we have to reach for it.

This small experience was a reminder to me — and perhaps to you — that asking costs nothing but can open doors we didn't even know were still possible.

If there’s a door you want to open, knock. Closed mouths don’t get fed.